Eat. Pray. Love or Drink. Hate. Work.

Yes, it's the ghost of blogster past. :)

Four years! Four years since my last post - I am suppose to be 'soaking-in life's colours' while everyone else gets caught-up in the rat race! But I guess thats why they also warn not to say 'never'.

Watching the movie Eat. Pray. Love. last year, was the first time I realised how far off-track I had come.

"Perfect! Getting a job doing PR & Events, it's practically getting paid to have fun!"

Oh how I would love to meet the me of 2008. I would slap myself out of the clouds, and anchor my ankles to the ground, before saying "Don't be a silly little girl. If life was that easy this earth would be called heaven."

Though, as I'm writing this, I hear the faint voice of my heart, desperately trying to be heard over the noise of my practical mind, "Was that so wrong? To want more out of life than just stepping onto a wheel every day, running and running, but never really going anywhere?"

I read a really apt comic strip today (just the flame I needed to spark my writing again)

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

Now, how true is that? When was the last time any of us, bothered to spend longer than a few seconds, just to sit and look at the stars? (and no, the recent lunar eclipse does not count - well actually, I take that back, it is certainly better then nothing, so good on you!)

This brings me back to the time, my father and I would sit out in the garden at night, with a map of the constellation spread out in front of us, as he taught me how to read the stars - just remembering that moment gives me such serenity.

But I've forgotten how to read the stars, as have I forgotten that the 2008 version of me wanted more important things for us at present. I got sucked into the race, and I've gone so far along that pulling out now is going to be difficult.

The longer I stayed in the race, the more lucrative offers became - its true when they say the Devil seduces you with material wealth and then offers to accept your soul as payment. My Devil was my own greed, my pride - my self, and I am a hair short of selling my soul.

My wheel circles around work, drinks, chores, sleep, and then back to work. With events practically every other week, (and sometimes weekends too!) socialising and play time have been confined to the parameters of work. My partner and I? We see each other, for all of 2 hours before bed (if we're lucky), and a couple of minutes in the morning before we both get on with our respective races.

With fourteen days of annual leave allocated, I maintain my sanity through travel. Once a year, for two weeks, I liberate my soul and then I come back to life with renewed zest, juiced-up, armed and ready with new ideas - for all of two months. Then reality kicks in and sucks me dry, leaving me drained and uninspired, and the vicious cycle begins once again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying let's quit our jobs and live like cave men again.

What I am saying is, let's stop this race, let's walk to our jobs and let us not allow it to take precedence over everything else. Let's stop and smell the roses. (heck I don't even smell my coffee anymore, and lord knows I love the smell of a good roast!) Let's converse with one another, not talk to each other, lets listen to one another and not just hear each other out.

Easier said than done, I know. As it is, the slow ones get left behind, so if we opt to quit the race altogether, what will we have to live on? That condo will no longer be an option, and you might have to consider replacing your car with a less fancy one, you'll probably have to spend thriftily; luxuries will go back to being exactly that - a luxury.

If you ask me, thats no way to live either. If there is one thing that still keeps us going in this city of devils, is the wealth that comes with it. I fear without that, we will be had for breakfast.

So that leaves us with, oh right - nothing. It only brings us back to square one, and the reason why the 2008 version of me is but a faint distant memory. I have thought this topic through so many times, but have never found an easy solution to maintaining the balance of working in the city without getting to caught up in the race.

I hava half a mind to pack-up and ship-out to the country side. Yes, I will probably suffer a drastic pay cut and yes, certain luxuries will now become scant - but with careful financial management and all the spare time in the world, I would probably be living a better quality of life, one that is enriched with stories you can tell your children, and your children's children.

I don't claim to have any answers, nor a guarantee that one lifestyle would work better than the other. This is just my thoughts penned to paper as a form of expression and forum for discussion.

I leave you with a song that I often listen to, just to remind me that I'm not alone in thinking these thoughts, and hopefully this will help someone else in like manner.